Divorced? That’s not the end of your life. Of course, it leaves scars, but they also leave you stronger and wiser. Divorce is something that shakes you from the inside. Whether it is due to incompatibility or infidelity, divorces are heart wrecking. However, you can always have a fresh start.
For many people, a new marriage is their fresh start. In this new chapter of life, they implement the lessons learned from their previous experience. They go to great lengths to ensure that the next journey with the new spouse goes as beautifully as possible. But there is this question, can you remarry after divorce? Of course, you can. To know the ifs and buts, keep reading.
Can You Remarry After Divorce?
You can breathe a sigh of relief as, while the divorce rates are high, the stats on remarriage are promising as well. Around 80% of divorcees remarry and 6% marry the same spouse.
However, you may have to wait for a certain period before remarriage, depending on the state you live in (covered in the next section).
However, even without a waiting period, it is better to wait for some time to mentally heal and regain your strength and confidence. And while there is not a specific time that you must wait for, some experts suggest you wait for a month for every year that you were in the relationship.
Also, apart from the waiting period, a few other factors can affect the timeline of your marriage. While it is often alimony, other factors like child custody, child support, and inheritance provisions can affect how early you can get remarried.
Also, individual states, and not the federal government, issue marriage licenses. So, if the state in which you get divorced and the one in which you want to get married are different, you may need some legal advice depending on the states you are dealing with.
Stats tell that remarriages are at a higher risk of divorce (around 65% chance of divorce) compared to the first marriage. Although these stats do not predict your future or define you, it is best that you take steps to avoid contributing to the stats.
Before remarrying, you need to consider a few things and take a few steps:
1. Address Issues Holding You Back
Before you invest in another marriage, it is important that you are healed mentally and do not have an unresolved issue. If you harbor resentment towards your ex or are fantasizing about getting back together, you must stay away from committing to another person.
Also, if you have become fond of your newly acquired independence, you need to consider the changes you will have to make if you decide to remarry.
2. Reflect on Why Your First Marriage Ended
While it is easy to blame everything on your ex, it is time to be realistic and spend some time on self-reflection. Reflecting on your part in the failure of the first marriage will contribute to the success of your second marriage.
3. Think about Your Kids
While you and your ex may have moved on and are ready for a second marriage, kids often hope that their parents may reconcile. If you feel that your kids are not ready for the big change, it is better to wait a little while and give them some time to heal and accept the change.
4. Build Healthy Relationships with Your Stepchildren
If children are involved, it is important that both partners have a healthy relationship with them as well as their stepchildren. Poor relationships between stepparents and stepchildren often become a big issue and affect the marriage.
So, before tying the knot, it is important that both partners have a clear understanding of their roles as stepparents.
5. Have Realistic Expectations
While things may seem all lovey-dovey initially, you need to accept that your second marriage will have its ups and downs as well. Perhaps even more, as you may have children involved, stepfamilies, and many other unanticipated issues.
6. Try Therapy
Take couples therapy so that both you and your partner can talk about your previous marriages and the reasons that may have contributed to your earlier divorce. It will offer you the opportunity to reevaluate your situation and establish the importance of communication and trust.
7. Talk about Money and Prenup
After going through a divorce, you understand the harsh reality of the complications you face when you don’t do things legally.
So, this time, don’t be shy about having the money talk. Your partner will realize where you are coming from and must support you in your decision if they plan on spending their entire life with you.
How Long After Divorce Can You Remarry?
Can you remarry after divorce? You now know you can, but if you live in certain states, there is a certain waiting period.
The waiting period is the time during which you cannot remarry. While most states do not have a waiting period, and you can marry another person on the same day, some states do have a waiting period that can range from 30 to 90 days.
Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, and Wyoming are the states that do not have a waiting period.
Here are the states that require you to wait and the duration of the waiting period:
Alabama: 60 days
Nebraska: 6 months
Texas: 30 days
Rhode Island: 3 months
Oklahoma: 6 months
Massachusetts: 90 days
Kansas: 30 days
Washington, D.C.: 30 days
Wisconsin: 6 months
In most states, the waiting periods are the same as the appeal period. The couples may litigate their divorce during this period.
Also, in these states, divorce is not decreed until the waiting period is over. So, you are legally still bound to your earlier marriage, and another marriage is invalid.