The Girls You Marry vs The Girls You Hook Up With

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The Girls You Marry vs The Girls You Hook Up With

The Girls You Marry vs The Girls You Hook Up With

Our friends over at Rant Chic recently gave us a list of "Men You Marry vs Men You Bang"

We didn't think it was a bad list -- pretty good, actually. However at Rant Lifestyle, we've always been taught that what's good for one, is good for the other. While we got a kick out of trying to see which category we all fit in -- we're all keepers, by they way -- it was probably time to turn the tables.

Two can play this game, Rant Chic, Here's the girls we just hook up with, and the ones who we put the ring on....

Marry: On Sunday she...

Marry: On Sunday she...

Marry: On Sunday she...

Marry: On Sunday she...

Is having brunch.

Usually with some of her work friends. Because she has a job. The kind of job where she works with people who would have brunch on Sunday.

Hook Up: On Sunday she...

Hook Up: On Sunday she...

Hook Up: On Sunday she...

Hook Up: On Sunday she...

Is nursing a hangover.

She's still having fun. The kind of fun where you spend the entire Sunday laying on the couch with sunglasses on. This type of fun gets old quick, and sticking around to see how that movie ends is no fun.

Marry: Her tattoo is...

Marry: Her tattoo is...

Marry: Her tattoo is...

Marry: Her tattoo is...

Cute, simple, understated, and feminine.

A simple design on her wrist, hip, shoulder, foot -- these are the tattoos that tell you she has an eye for style, but doesn't over do anything. She has something simple because she thinks of the future.

Hook Up: Her tattoo is...

Hook Up: Her tattoo is...

Hook Up: Her tattoo is...

Hook Up: Her tattoo is...

A tramp stamp.

It's called that for a reason. Is there really anything else that needs saying?

Marry: Dressy means...

Marry: Dressy means...

Marry: Dressy means...

Marry: Dressy means...

A little black dress.

This should be standard issue for all classy ladies. If your girl shows up in a little black dress, it means she was taught by someone that class always wins over everything else. She knows you're a mature man and she wants you to take her seriously.

Hook Up: Dressy means...

Hook Up: Dressy means...

Hook Up: Dressy means...

Hook Up: Dressy means...

A micro dress.

Hey, micro dresses are hot. No question there. You show up with a girl in a micro, and you get to give your buddies the "Yeah man, that's all me" look. But that's all it'll ever be. Is she seriously someone you'd want as your date to a business function?

Marry: Her Facebook profile pic is...

Marry: Her Facebook profile pic is...

Marry: Her Facebook profile pic is...

Marry: Her Facebook profile pic is...

From her trip to Peru last March.

It's something she actually did. Because she does things. She goes places, she travels, she has stuff going on. The focus here is "look what I went and did, isn't it cool?" She's proud of her life and how cool it is -- which shows confidence.

Hook Up: Her Facebook profile pic is...

Hook Up: Her Facebook profile pic is...

Hook Up: Her Facebook profile pic is...

Hook Up: Her Facebook profile pic is...

A selfie.

Especially a car selfie and/or a duckface (side note, why do you girls think we find this attractive??). The girl with a selfie as a profile is shouting "Look at me! And how I look! I'm hot! Validate me!!" This means odds are she's hot, but there's not much else going on otherwise.

Marry: Her favorite romance book...

Marry: Her favorite romance book...

Marry: Her favorite romance book...

Marry: Her favorite romance book...

"A Farewell To Arms" by Ernest Hemingway

If you've read this book, you're doing a slow clap and saying "YES!!" First of all, if she's even reading Hemingway -- wife her immediately. But if her favorite romantic story is from a classic like this (or to be fair, one like it) shows she's classy and was awake in school.

Hook Up: Her favorite romance book...

Hook Up: Her favorite romance book...

Hook Up: Her favorite romance book...

Hook Up: Her favorite romance book...

Fifty shades of anything.

If her idea of super romantic involves a "red room of pain" and getting tied up and smacked with leather whips -- have fun with that. Because she'll probably let you. A lot.

Marry: She drives...

Marry: She drives...

Marry: She drives...

Marry: She drives...

Some sort of sedan or SUV. Jetta, Civic, Murano, Camry, Jeep Cherokee, etc.

Preferably she either owns it or is making payments on it herself. It's clean, there's no fast food bags in the floor wells, and there's a Febreze thingie on the air vent. If she can drive a five-speed, thousands of bonus points.

Hook Up: She drives...

Hook Up:  She drives...

Hook Up: She drives...

Hook Up:  She drives...

Something that looks like Barbie vomited on a Hello Kitty lunchbox.

She's fun, she's bright, she likes having fun, and likes cute stuff. Awesome. Just don't stick around long enough for her to pull up in front of your apartment in this thing.

Unless you're in Japan. Because Japan.

Marry: Facial piercing...

Marry: Facial piercing...

Marry: Facial piercing...

Marry: Facial piercing...

One of those little nose studs.

She knows how to do the fun and fashion thing, but also knows it's not cool to jam metal through her face -- and hasn't been since 1994. She knows how to be fun and spunky without turning herself into Jodie from Pulp Fiction.

Hook Up: Facial piercing...

Hook Up: Facial piercing...

Hook Up: Facial piercing...

Hook Up: Facial piercing...

Monroe.

She's sexy, but has to have a big steel ball on her lip to make you know this. She's too flashy to wife up, but she'll do for now.

Marry: She lives...

Marry: She lives...

Marry: She lives...

Marry: She lives...

On her own in an apartment where she pays her own rent.

Furthermore, it's a place that looks like an Ikea ad. She has nice things, some stuff from Pier 1, and it's clean. Her bed is nice, but doesn't have eight million pillows on it. All this means is she likes to have nice things, and having nice things is awesome.

Hook Up: She lives...

Hook Up:  She lives...

Hook Up: She lives...

Hook Up:  She lives...

With roommates. Hot ones.

First of all, her roommates are instant friends when she's starting to get old. You stay over, she's in the shower, her roommate will pour you coffee. It's nice to have another pretty girl to look at sometimes.

Plus, the chance to unlock this achievement is just too sweet to pass up.

Marry: She wants to get busy to...

Marry: She wants to get busy to...

Marry: She wants to get busy to...

Marry: She wants to get busy to...

"Cigarettes And Coffee" by Otis Redding.

Pretty much anything by Otis is going to be awesome when the lights are out. Super high five if she uses Sam Cooke as warm up music.

Hook Up: She wants to get busy to...

Hook Up: She wants to get busy to...

Hook Up: She wants to get busy to...

Hook Up: She wants to get busy to...

"Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry

She's a freak and doesn't care who knows. In fact, that might be a lyric in the song. It's neat every now and then to have a girl who will swing on a stripper pole for you and do the hair whip/nail scratch thing. The only problem is that her crazy status isn't usually confined to the bedroom.

Marry: Your first date was...

Marry: Your first date was...

Marry: Your first date was...

Marry: Your first date was...

Coffee. Or maybe lunch.

You met her through mutual friends, work, or even maybe an online dating site -- a reputable one. You sat and talked, the hours flew by, the world was yours. She held a conversation with you and you were interested. She ignored the fake emergency call from her friend (they do that), and you had fun.

Hook Up: Your first date was...

Hook Up: Your first date was...

Hook Up: Your first date was...

Hook Up: Your first date was...

Last call at the club.

What was your name again? Sandi? Candi? Who cares, just don't throw up on my microfiber sheets and don't expect breakfast.

Marry: When There's An Issue

Marry: When There's An Issue

Marry: When There's An Issue

Marry: When There's An Issue

She tells you straight out what it is, how she feels, and how you can fix it. Without it turning into World War Three and between the two of you -- in private.

Hook Up: When There's An Issue

Hook Up: When There's An Issue

Hook Up: When There's An Issue

Hook Up: When There's An Issue

She Vaguebooks it. Or Subtweets it. Or takes it to basically anyone who isn't you.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

Marry: If A Waitress Flirts With You

Marry: If A Waitress Flirts With You

Marry: If A Waitress Flirts With You

Marry: If A Waitress Flirts With You

She laughs, and then toasts to what a sexy man she has.

Hook Up: If A Waitress Flirts With You

Hook Up: If A Waitress Flirts With You

Hook Up: If A Waitress Flirts With You

Hook Up: If A Waitress Flirts With You

She demands to know who THAT bitch thinks she is, rips her earrings out, and waves a finger in the server's face.

Because men just melt for a girl who makes a scene.

In The End....

In The End....

In The End....

In The End....

Why are you categorizing and objectifying women to begin with?

There's no clear way to decide who you marry and who you hook up with. When it's all said and done, each woman is her own person and is a human being. You might find women who have traits of either side who you enjoy or don't. You wouldn't want a girl to pass you by because you don't drive a BMW, would you? Same thing.

Don't let silly lists tell you who to love.