Top 20 Kinds of Drunk People

No. 20 - The Mr. Chow Drunk


The Hangover Trilogy introduced us to Mr. Chow. Just like the character, the Mr. Chow drunk is a wildcard. He could end up naked, doing drugs, talking in third person, or all three. He is a high risk, high reward part of the crew.

No. 19 - The Thoughtful Drunk


The thoughtful drunk is annoying, your best option is to see the humor in his "thoughts." Typically, this individual already has bizarre thoughts and theories when sober, he is just more open about his beliefs as the liquor flows. For the most part, the thoughtful drunk is harmless, as long as you do not begin believing his non-sense.

No. 18 - The Exorcist Drunk


This is the drunk who spends the night projectile vomiting. If you're lucky, you will see him crab walk down the stairs or spin his noggin 360 degrees.

No. 17 - The Depressed Drunk


The depressed drunk is common with all crews. This drama queen can quickly ruin a night out. The more he drinks, the sadder he becomes. We recommend ditching this drunk by all means possible.

No. 16 - The New Drunk


It’s always fun to drink with a newbie. Just make sure you ditch them after the pregame; you do not want to spend your night babysitting.

No. 15 - The Drink More Drunk


This drunk constantly feels the need to drink more. This is a great person to have at the beginning of the night; creating ice-breakers through constant shots. Don't feel the need to keep up with the drink more drunk, this individual will blackout.

No. 14 - The Lying Drunk


Most lying drunks, also lie sober. The more alcohol they have, the worst the lies get. Use their lies to your advantage when possible. They are excellent at making up aliases.

No. 13 - The Sleepy Drunk


I often find myself with this drunk when getting late night pizza or tacos. He or she is known to nap at the table, or in the car. This individual is not a threat, and a valuable member of the crew if you need an excuse to bail.

No. 12 - The Never Drunk


This individual NEVER drinks. For the first, and probably last time, he or she got really drunk. Typical behavior includes bad dancing, loud singing, and puking. This also tends to be the guy in the crew who got married way too young.

No. 11 - The Sleazy Drunk


I have no issues with the sleazy drunk. This individual is part slime ball and part genius. A good one will help lure in members of the opposite sex.

No. 10 - The Creepy Drunk


We all know this drunk, and may have experience as this drunk. This individual will do anything to get laid. Best case scenario, he or she passes out before too much damage has been done.

No. 9 - The Flaunting Drunk


This drunk brags about everything. Typically, this drunk truly has very little to brag about and really needs to shut up. Let this individual enjoy being the man for one night. Tomorrow's hangover will serve as a reality check.

No. 8 - The Fake Drunk


There is nothing wrong with the fake drunk. Force him or her to be your designated driver regardless of how "drunk" they are.

No. 7 - The Knockout Drunk


This drunk is always down for a fight. He will purposely bump into others and cause unnecessary confrontations. Do not feel obligated to have this person’s back, at some point he will find his match.

No. 6 - The "Best Friend" Drunk


Suddenly, this acquaintance thinks you are best friends. In some cases this may be a complete stranger offering to buy you drinks. Put up with the crap long enough to snag a drink or two, then ditch this individual.

No. 5 - The Druggy Drunk


This person claims to be “drunk” but is really a closet druggy. He has smoked several bowls before hitting the club, but will only admit to drinking. Enjoy the comedy, avoid the drugs.

No. 4 - The Alcoholic Drunk


The alcoholic drunk is also known as the reliable drunk. This person is always down to drink, a valuable quality in a crew member.This person drinks a ton, and is consistently buzzed. Once in a long while he or she actually “gets drunk.” This is your go-to person when you need a night out.

No. 3 - The Suit & Tie Drunk


This drunk (typically a waiter or waitress by day) dresses in his or her best Express suit and skinny tie to “impress” the opposite sex. Oxblood skinny pants are a dead giveaway of this drunk. This individual will go out of his way to drink high-end cocktails throughout the night. Most of the time they are cocktails he or she has never had. This drunk is harmless.

No. 2 - The Steve-O Drunk


Also known as the reckless drunk, this person is fun to observe but not someone you want to be too close with. This drunk is known for being removed from bars and a target for police. That being said, the comedy this person can provide is a must in all crews.

No. 1 - The Generous Drunk


Typically a recent college grad who has had too much to drink becomes the generous drunk. After accepting his or her first full-time job offer, this individual is willing to spend half of his or her $35,000 salary on drinks. Use the generous drunk to your advantage.

When out boozing, the crew you associate with can make or break your night. Low on cash? Be sure to tag along with the generous drunk. Spend your night with the Steve-O drunk and you’re guaranteed to have a good time. Get too close to The Exorcist drunk and you will be cleaning vomit. Enjoy our list of the top 20 kinds of drunk people, and choose your drinking buddies wisely.